??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
