I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
