honey bunches of taint.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
