She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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