there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
