My balls are so social today.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
