is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
