..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
