so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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