Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
