Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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