we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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