Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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