That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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