The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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