Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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