how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I touched a dick in church today
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
