He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
