I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
