I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
foreskin is a definite game changer
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
