I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
