I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
