What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
