How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
