Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
