I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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