My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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