Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
