??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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