Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
