So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
