Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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