your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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