I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
