just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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