My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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