Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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