fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
