super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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