you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
