Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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