Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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