Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
