i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
