I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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