That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i drank out of a bidet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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