i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
