I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Pooping to opera.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
