Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
