belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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