I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
