so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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