i always forget guys have bellybuttons
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
