I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
