Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
