She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
